So I have just landed in Jakarta. My sis has sent her 2 (yes, 2) drivers to pick me up from the airport apparently too busy at the gym to come to the airport herself. First time I've ever had my name on a sign waiting for me at an airport and the fact that the sign said "Gorgeous Gail Sinclair" just added to the pleasure!!
Sis, Julie, has 2 drivers as they are training one up - trainee is driving just now - wonder how nervous I should be...
I left London last Monday morning and it was miserable weather. Said weather caused my taxi to be 1 and a half hours late - I wasn't panicking much - not. Luckily I'd originally intended to get taxi to bus station and then bus to Heathrow so had enough time to just get taxi to take me straight to the airport. Once there I had to fight with Singapore Air staff about my luggage allowance and just as I had always thought - I was right and they were wrong. Then they decided I had the wrong type of ticket (travel agent neglected to tell me I needed paper tickets). This took an hour to sort out and they almost didn't let me on the flight. I think I was probably close to tears at this point (actually at many points) - not a good start to my trip. Other circumstances caused plane to be delayed into Singapore and of course I missed my connection to Bangkok - I hadn't slept at all so really didn't care due to zombification. Arrived Bangkok 18 hours after leaving bro's house in London and then straight into a 6 hour drive to Koh Chang (Elephant Island). A beer soon perked me up.
Friend Ruaraidh, his girlfriend Gift and Gift's mum (who we'll call Mama for the lack of knowledge of her name!) picked me up at BKK and we headed to Koh Chang for a few nights R&R. Gift was an absolute star doing all that driving. Mama is going through chemo at the moment but by the end of our few days she certainly looked rejuvenated.
My last thought leaving London was "well at least I'm leaving this miserable weather behind" - WRONG. While on ferry to the island a thunderstorm struck right on top of us. Actually it was quite exciting, but then I've always liked lightning. Koh Chang is reported to be the most beautiful of the Thai islands. It is not as developed as the others either but it is heading that way. We stayed in Bar Chang in White Sands Beach in huts in the trees. I had a treehut (1 room , 1 toilet) to myself while poor Ruaraidh and Gift shared similar with Mama - I think "frustration" might be a word they would use. Ruaraidh and Gift are regulars at White Sands so I was soon introduced to all the staff at all the best places.
KC Grande and 15 Palms, both on the beach, are the places to go for breakfast, Ka Ti for lunch and Oodies is the only place to go for dinner and evening entertainment. The have a nightly movie and then the resident band play cover songs and invite honoured guests to join them occasionally. Ruaraidh did a sober rendition of "Wonderful Tonight" - I don't quite know what a drunk rendition would have entailed, but apparently it would have been better - nakedness perhaps? They tried to get me up but I was having none of it - mind you if they'd tried a few drinks later they might have succeeded. The band consisted of the drummer Wake, bass guitarist, Meg, rather cute but, sorry, engaged, and lead/exhibitionist guitarist, Tiene. Tiene liked showing off his fancy finger work but would generally get quite drunk on the tequila and whisky shots the tourists would supply the band so quite what he was playing by the end of the night was anyone's guess! Oodies was the only place that looked busy every night (it's low season just now). Also worthy of mention at Oodies is Travis the frog and Tick the waiter.
TRAVIS THE FROG
For those that don't know, toilets in South east Asia (as well as other places) are often squat toilets or western toilets with no flush, where you have to pour water from a bucket down the bowl. When going to scoop water out of the bucket, 2 frogs sprang from the depths and sat on the rim of the of the bucket croaking obscenities at me, almost making me need to use that toilet again! I didn't catch the other one's name. I'd befriended a Dutch girl Esther and she was too freaked out to go to the loo after I told her about Travis and his pal.
TICK THE WAITER
Tick the waiter, you ask? Very cute Thai boy. Limited English, but talking wasn't really required!. He lives in a hut in the village which is about as big as my bathroom in Edinburgh (and my bathroom aint big). Did I mention he was very cute? and a Thai Bo instructor so a very hot bod too (apparently ;) ).
For dancing after Oodies, there is the Sabay bar. Although the music was horrendous Euro pop, the tequilas were nice and large and there was an area outside on the beach you could hang out at.
Thursday night was full moon and there was an all night party in nearby Lonely Beach which we went to with Oodies staff. To honour the full moon and to satisfy our thirst for debauchery, a great bar stayed open till dawn. Here I indulged in much dancing and many 'buckets' - Thai speciality - half bottle rum, can ofcoke, bottle Red Bull in bucket with several straws. 1 hours sleep later and it was off back to Bangkok again.
Did we do anything in Koh Chang other than drink, dance and be merry? Erm, let me think... Oh yeah we went to a waterfall that has a natural fresh water pool you can swim in. That was beautiful. I also managed to actually jump straight in the water instead of doing my usual cautious half hour recce before chickening out! Other than that it was pretty much eating, drinking and not much sleeping. I only managed to sit on the beach for 1 hour - but at least I didn't burn my fragile Scots skin. The water was super warm, the sea very shallow and I got stung by something twice although the locals say it's not jellyfish season. Think I'll let this story grow into something involving a man o war and that I had to have chunks of flesh cut out of me by a local shaman with sharpened bark..... or something.....
Once in Bangkok, we went for dinner near the famous Khoa San Rd where we bumped into a Irish couple we'd met at the waterfall, small world etc. Took a walk down Khoa San Rd - nothing to write home about so I won't. It was a buddhist holiday so a lot of the bars and restaurants weren't serving beer - can you imagine beer being banned on public holidays in the UK?
Was staying at Ruaraidh's place where he very rudely made me sleep on the tiled floor (only kidding looly). He has a snooker hall at the top of his apartment block, which really means the place was made for him as he is a very keen and good snooker player. We played a couple of frames and I won - hee hee, therefore I must be brilliant - some might say jammy, but they're just mean.
This drive is almost over so I'll sign off now. Indo driving is mental at the best of times and with a trainee driver - it's a wonder I managed to form a sentence throuight the nerves!
Off to 5 star brunch tomorrow I believe - I've been looking forward to this for weeks. All you can eat, and everything you can think of to eat is there, I am especially looking forward to the sushi and free flow bubbly.
Next time I write I'll be regaling you with stories of shopping and nieces.
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Ok so no stories of choc martinis yet but there was quite a free flow of champagne at brunch yesterday. It was Mothers day in Indo and we joined a couple of other 'bules' (white people) that sis knows and the kids were taken off for flower arranging and t-shirt painting while we enjoyed the chocolate fountains, ice sculptures and many many many stations of food. It was quite a sumptuous feast, of course starting with sashimi. My favourite? - ashamedly I have to say it was the mashed potato and gravy. It might have been the scallops until I realised that it was faked - apparently it's common to use shaped stingray to impersonate scallops. It tasted good but I did feel a bit scammed - the scoundrels.
Since I'm in a house with young kids early mornings are inevitable. This morning was a positive lie in as I woke up at 6.40am whereas yesterday I was up at 5.50am. For the past 2 weeks I've been going to bed later than that - my head's a bit screwed up.
It is currently 9.30pm on Monday evening and my sis has just gone to bed. Poor wench has to get up at 4.40am so you can't really blame her - did manage to get her a bit giggly on gin before she retired. She and hubby, Jamie, have 2 kids - Halle, 4 and Ella, 18 months. Both a handful and delightful in somewhat equal measures. Actually, no, mostly delightful and very very pink (clothing).
The kids and mom are in bed and Jamie is on his way back from a business meeting so I am left to watch Lost and drink gin. Lost is ahead of the UK - any Lost-junkies want me to spoil the ending of anything?
So tomorrow involves taking Halle to school at 8am and then I'm off to the gym (I have a driver at my disposal - hark at me!) Went this morning and feel soooooo much better for it - sweated all the Thai beer out of me I think!. After lunch I pick up sis from work and it's off for pedicures.
Jamie's back so better sign off for now and chat to the host
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So now here I am back in Jakarta airport waiting for my flight to Sydney via Singapore. Apparently the Singapore-Sydney flight has only 50 passengers - excellent, might even get some sleep this time.
Spent this afternoon at yet another brunch at the Shangri La hotel this time. Even posher than last week. We left the kids with Jamie and met up with some teachers from Julie's school. Much giggling ensued (free flow bubbly will do that to you) and some other more refined customers may even have complained about us making too much noise!!
My week in Jakarta mainly consisted of pampering - shopping, pedicures, chocolate martinis at some v swanky hotel that I can't spell the name of. Wow they were strong. We had two and were quite tipsy by the time we left. the record is apparently 6 for a guy and 3 for a woman. We asked if we beat the record then could we get them for free but they were having none of it.
Went to the gym 5 times in my 8 day stay (Bea and Sarah - no excuse for slacking just because I'm not there). I did the Body Pump class that Julie is addicted to and was fascinated by the cookie girls. Body Pump involves exercises with barbells (pretty much Body Blitz in the Pleasance but harder) and the cookie girls quickly snap up the lightest weights (cookies as that's what they resemble) 0.5kg? What's the point? just wear a pair of gloves! There are also cookie boys, they lift a tiny bit more than the girls but it still seems almost pointless - relative to us bules lifting 10kg plus. Everyone is in awe of Julie and her 30kg squats. She goes to particular classes to perv on the (we think gay) instructors - man, they have buns of steel.
All that standing around lifting weights meant that we just had to go for a reflexology foot and body massage. Sounds nice and relaxing doesn't it? WRONG!! Julie forgot to warn me that they basically just poke you all over with a sharp stick then lean on your back till your lungs are squished and you can't breathe. Now I like a hard massage but that was ridiculous. Also never had my bum felt up so much in my life (and paid for it) Think the poor masseur had to add an extra 10 mins on to my time to deal with the size of my ass!! He'd probably never seen the like before.
I had been sleeping on a sofa bed in the TV room, but then when Jamie had a friend, Stocky, stay for a few days I ended up sleeping in the same room as Ella. She likes to babble to herself at 5am and sing the alphabet song. Very cute but kind of disturbs your sleep. Stocky was on a surfing trip round Indonesia. He'd just been in Bali and had heard about a swell coming in to somewhere on Java (Pelabuhan Ratu I think) and stopped off in Jakarta on the way.
Ben H's mum is picking me up at Sydney airport. V kind of her. Ben told her to look out for someone with bright red hair and skin too since I've been in the sun. I bought a crazy pink and red patterned coat in Jakarta that clashes with my hair so she will not be able to miss me! Brought some Green and Black's chocolate from the UK as a present for Ben but some of it got 'damaged' in transit, but shh, don't tell him.
Suppose I'd better go find my gate now.
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I am currently having a beer in a Sports bar in Singapore airport waiting for my next plane. There's even a pool table - wonder if I can find someone to hustle.
Plane from Jakarta was the roomiest I've ever been on - so much leg room I thought I was in business class.
So what else did I get up to in Jakarta? Last night was a party for the staff at Julie's school. Free food and alcohol so of course we had to go. Beforehand MJ had a cocktail party. It was all a bit civilised with pina coladas and strawberry daiquiris until local lush, Annie, and I made some margaritas. Always good on an empty stomach! So we were all pretty well oiled before getting to the party. It's a primary and secondary school so there are lots of staff. The principle was leaving after 15 years and somehow I ended up dancing with him much to everyone's amusement. One woman thought I was such a fabulous dancer that she wants lessons, but there's a good chance she was as drunk as me! The school choir sang with solos from a couple of girls. The prom had been the previous night and Julie and her fellow teachers spent their time speculating on who'd got laid afterwards. Crikey, wonder what the hell my teachers said about me?!
Julie did a 5K fun run at 7am - I think I was still drunk at that point. She did it in her slowest time ever - 23 mins. Shocking! MJ also ran - still with the hairdo she'd got done for the party!
This is my third visit to Singapore airport in 2 weeks and of course I felt obliged to do some duty free shopping, so I now have goods to make me smell good, look good and enough alcohol to make other people agree!!
(I have just seen the most bizarre sandwich combination on a menu I have ever heard of - smoked sausage and tuna)
Best go find a plane again
See you in Sydney
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I'm in Australia, wahey!
I arrived to sunny weather at Sydney airport and managed to positively whizz through customs. I had been warned that the process would take an age and that I would be sprayed with pesticides! I went through the red channel as the green channel queue was so long. I must've looked so innocent that even before I got to the head of the queue they asked if I had any fresh food on me and when I said no they told me to just head on out. Heroin's not a fresh foodstuff is it?
Ben's mum picked me up at the airport and drove me to Ben and David's place. The sofa bed was already made up so I thought it only polite to have a wee snooze. Washed the airport/plane/own stink off me and then went for a wander in the area, Leichhardt - has a little Italy feel to it. Great coffee and gellato to be had.
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Here are some more photos from Jakarta:
Ella impersonating Les Dawson
Donnie and Marie statue - at least that's what Julie calls it.
Local transport - bajais/tuk-tuks
Julie and Jamie's hoose
My new motto
Flower sellers street
Funny sign - hee hee
The corrugated iron construction on the top of this building is actually someone's house!
Equivalent of a corner shop
Pasa Raya market with polio beggar in forefront
A local delicacy!!
Street Julie's compound is on.
Linguists: How to save space - literal translation "Careful careful, many child child"
Peeled my dried drool-covered face off the pillow Saturday morning to the prospect of my first 'roo steak. Yummity yummity, it is tastee. Ben and David had a lunchtime BBQ. Things started to heat up when the fence caught fire and the fire brigade were called by some kindly anonymous citizen. I was in the middle of opening a bottle of wine when they turned up - that task was promptly abandoned as I sprinted into the house to find my camera!! Abandoning alcohol for pretty boys in uniform - who'd have thought? Ben is doing such a good job in helping me objectify men!
A very pleasant time was had drinking by the fire into the evening with a bit of kung fu fighting by the hosts. 
And in case you think that I am just gathering photos from the internet and actually hiding in my flat for 4 months, I actually allowed myself to be photographed. Notice I am wearing a skirt and open toed shoes while Ben and Mark Dras are wearing jumpers and jackets. How optimistic was I when packing?!
There's either a naval or army barracks there but no sightings of sodgers were made. I believe they spend their sundays indoors licking the sweat off each other - at least that's what Ben told me and here he is pictured looking for evidence of such activities. There's a nudist beach called Lady Bay there too. Just above it is a look out point I guess for folk to look out over the stunning harbour views except there are trees in the way and the only view you actually get is of the nudist beach, with the odd giggling lady taking photos. I refrained, sorry if you are disappointed. 
Sydney reminds me a little of San Francisco as there are a lot of short sharp hills and, on the way up to South Head, especially near the water. This affords beautiful views of the city. Apparently when the city was first being colonised the all powerful Anglican church snapped up all the 'best' places first which to them was on the sea front for easy access to supply boats. This left the Catholic church to build futher up the hills. Guess who's got the more sought after buildings now?!
South Head consists of dramatic cliff faces, part of which is called the Gap. It's quite a suicide spot - perhaps they should fix that gap in the fence. 
There is a candy striped light house there built after the sinking of the passenger ship Dunbar in 1857 with the loss of 121 souls and a sole/soul survivor. It was a huge disaster in its day. They'd been travelling in cramped quarters for 81 days from the UK and then were driven into the rocks an hour from their destination. Now that's gotta suck. 
The delectable David is pictured beside the Dunbar's anchor. David is only 7 inches tall.
Other side of dude shack on Camp Cove beach.
Sydney opera house - can you spot it? This was my very first glimpse. Saw it at closer range this morning but I've still only seen the top of it.
